I've rolled joints bigger than that penis.
I'm watching tv and he's trying to stick a vibrator in my ass
Remember that one time i smeared period blood on your face?
I hate you
Professor used "ROFL" while grading my paper... Do I even go to a real college?
driving around with you guys listening to the beach boys made me very concious of how white you all are.
I'm trying on my bridesmaid dress so that I can determine what will need to be done to achieve getting fucked while wearing it.
Pretty sure encouraging you to sleep with 2 different girls while keeping you in the good graces of both has lost me the ability to call myself a woman. But that's just the kind of friend I am; dedicated.
He told me "it wants a kiss" WHY HAS THIS HAPPENED WITH 2 DIFFERENT PEOPLE.
Found my underwear in a solo cup. That about sums up this weekend.
I feel like the devil is trying to impregnate me through my eyeballs.
What's your ideal size in a man?
I just asked if you could cover my shift tomorrow......
Is there such thing as a tasteful dick pic? I think I just got one if they exist.
I'll probably just end up banging you in your parents marital bed,in their honor of course.
I'm shaking a cocktail while in bed. Is that bad?
She shit herself again. We're calling her the "Queen of Sharts".
Randomize
