btw, your gf is going to want to talk to you today...and consequently you're probably not going to want to talk to me...just a heads up
That's why they call him "the cheesegrater".
We were dancing and she was clawing my stomach like a fat kid getting to a half broken pinata.
well I think it'll pretty much be gone by Saturday. On a scale of 1- Snooki's unborn child how much do periods freak you out?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Did you just reference Ludacris during my possible pregnancy scare of 2012?!
Don't. You get on the 18 year old. I'll get on the 38 year old. Together we will bridge 2 decades of cock.
We could have casual sex if you want. But I can't offer a bromance to a woman.
Let me get this straight, you're telling me to lower my standards? Even though last week you told me I don't have any..?
I just need like a magic vacuum to suck everything out of me and then an IV to put good stuff back in
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't remember anything but bad decisions last night
You were supposed to catch herpes, not feelings!!!
i guess she just walked over ass naked and peed on his laptop. gonna call an over price on that drunk sex.
Some bitch is passed out in a pool of vomit. Fucking lightweight, it's only 8.30.
Oh, wait.. That's you.
Her hot older sister walked in on us, looked me up and down, then stared straight at her and said "I call sloppy seconds on this one" then left. I'm still debating on how I feel about that.
This is the weekend we were supposed to be in Vegas making bad decisions hoping no one got VD, not stuck at home for the 900th day in a row
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