fuck, i think i'm broken. Alchyhol air mattress = the suck.
And i quote: "where's y'alls from comin' in with them accents?" - from a mississipi mcdonalds
Two things. 1 - I want to apologize for my drunkeness last night. 2 - I want to pre-apologize for my anticipated drunkeness tonight.
votre penis est TRES GRAND. i used vous because your penis is SO big
It went alright, nothing too special, just got threatened with a knife by our server.
At the party. I feel like I just walked into a lifesize blunt.
We decided to make playlists for each other. Do you know any songs that say "sorry I'm not as hot as your prostitute ex?"
I think I just wanna go buy some jack at the liquor store, come home, take my pants off, and not give a shit about stuff
Dont even get me started. you fell asleep in my kitchen after being cockblocked when you tried to use my roommates bedroom.
WTF moment this morning: we were getting ready to leave and he reaches under his mattress to pull out his gun. All I could do was look at him and go "really?!"
Twice. I only peed my pants twice tonight.
you know its getting late when the "nevers" are turning into "maybe"
We're going through the drive-through at mcdonalds while pulling sam behind us in the wheelchair and having them hand him the food. Let me know how this went in the morning
I don't know if it was the movie or the drugs but after i watched it i wore the same spongebob shirt to school for two weeks and stopped showering
We got stoned and watched Disney movies all night. I think I'm in love.
Randomize
