Full bush! Can't stay! Need ride! Come on bro!
He saved me in his phone as Easy Jen. Should I be offended?
I wouldn't worry about it. He has me as "Sex Puppet."
last night they convinced you that a sharpie was a new style of chap stick... so when you wake up, you might want to do something about that
I have a new fascination with cutting really small segments of hair off peoples heads when they're not looking.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
When you went through airport security you asked if the could check if a baby was in there. That drunk.
the only way to explain how i feel is someone rolled me down a big fucking hill and then a dog came a took a huge ruthless shit in my mouth at the bottom
I didn't notice because vodka
Waking up at a teachers house is a very confusing thing
conclusion from last night: i should wear boob glitter more often
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's brunch. If you find dick at brunch. You an A+ hoe.
It's almost like he's actually taking my commentary and criticism to heart, but simultaneously succumbing to some primal urge to wear less clothing each time.
I assure you, it was not a Porn Hub Bee Movie parody.
I woke up, topless, my car was parked funny so I threw on my hoodieto go fix it and found a jello shot in my pocket. where did I go last night?!
she keeps trying to brush her hair with leaves and insisting she's not high
last night you made out with a 19 year old on a bar and i woke up with a swede in my bed. lets just say that never happened.
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