I just told this girl who bought a pregnancy test "good luck"
That girl's pussy is like White Castles, you crave it once in awhile, but you know next morning you regret eating it.
i googled "where to have sex in disneyland." i found nothing.
Oh. My. God. Best non-relationship, he-might-be-cheating-on-his-boyfriend-but-I-can't-tell-because-of-the-language-barrier sex EVER!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you told me to make out with him to promote the social success of the sorority
So does it count as really great road-head if he ran over 3 mailboxes before realizing he was off the road?
He told me I handled myself pretty well considering how drunk I was. He failed to realize that the lollipop I had was one I found on the ground a few minutes before hand.
It's a gateway drink.... Starts with wine... Then I wake up in my car with mascara on my arms covered in french fries...
I just realized I turned down a booty call too. To make cheesecake. God help us all
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I applaud your efforts, but I have to say it was the bear we encountered that ultimately shut down the entire operation
It is very possible that having sex with you just now just got me into Yale
You know we have no secrets, right? I mean, you saw me shitting in a gift bag drunk and naked on Christmas eve.
Do you hit a new low in life when you have to carry around a puke bag in your purse when you're hungover?
Just realized I chose a bacon cheeseburger over sex last night
I'm actually really happy I can say that my first body shot was out of a gay strippers massively ripped chest
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