Holy wow, I found all the old poems u wrote me back when we were in looooooooove...just sort of wild to look back on, thought u'd like that
Freshman orientation day on campus. Dear diary, JACKPOT.
i really wanted you to get laid last night and i didnt think you were going to. so i posted porn on your facebook.it made sense at 3am
I was in a threesome last night that turned into a violent domestic dispute with damage to a hotel. Wish you were there!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They have beer in plastic boots. How am I supposed to resist that?
Because you know it would be fucking amazing to get trashed and shatter the dreams of 12 year old girls. I might get a shirt.
Only time i ever look at my online banking statement is to see when i left the bar.
oh come on since when have relationships been boundary lines for us
fair point
KNEE DEEP IN HOES. SEND HELP.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My vagina loves me do-dah do-dah my vagina loves me do-dah do-dah
I picture you throwing your vagina around in the same fashion that they pass out candy at a parade.
Is it too early to start pregaming for St. Patty's?
I need more social interactions that don't involve sex
There's no sexy way to moan the name Ernest. Or Ernie. This relationship is fucked
You either got a dog, or you have a boy over. I can't tell from the noises which it is.
Eventually the conversation shifted (as it always does) to Sex toys.
Randomize