I seriously need 2 stop fake jacking off in peoples faces at work...the I.T. Guy just showed me the security surveillance tapes.
i just saw an ambulance and a fire truck pull away from the dorms. it appears somebody actually IS feeling shittier than me today.
It's like you don't even want to get drunk with me everyday, anymore.
apparently my insurance doesn't cover road head. Bummer.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
this is not the time for floating mt dew and shots of tequila.
It feels kinda weird thanking you for sucking my dick, but I just don't know what else to do right now
Maybe we should invest in one and when one of us wishes to be a hot mess in a wheel chair the other one will push the mess around to wherever it wants to go.
This is the third year in a row that Mario has fallen through a table on New Years. I'm sensing a tradition developing.
Random one night stand with a guy that had a USA tattoo on his ass. Can't possibly get more American than that
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Called Apple, my penis pics are safe.
I saved a note for myself but all it said was "am I a slutty Holden Caulfield?"
Oh, I also stabbed a guy Friday and he still asked me out
some kid just came up 2 me bleeding yelling "thats how u riot"
What part of the grouping of the words "anal beads" confuses you?
Remember the guy with the pretty voice that gave us crabs?
Randomize