Dear everyone. As mark stated i did the 'piss n run' last night. This is all new to me and it scares me. Again, sorry. "if i could turn back time" -cher
you yelled then hung up at the girl on information bc she could not pinpoint your location and tell you how to get to dennys
I just put a tampon in while driving. Don't tell me I don't got skills.
I just realized I have my pepper spray, gun, and vibrator all in one drawer. One false grab and I'm screwed either way.
As weird as that was it was probably the best advice i've ever gotten from a tranny
At least drunk you showered before switching sex partners last night.
I just dont understand why you didnt cut me off when I took the funnel into the bathroom and started peeing and funneling at the same time
It was only 12:11 and I needed to make a Pepto Latte and call it a night, I don't remember that being part of my new years resolution.
He woke up, got my bottle of water and poured it on me and then went back to sleep. Not really how I want to wake up at 2 a.m.
she wants to wait til the kids are asleep so im just shotgunning the parents beers in the pillow fort. I love fucking babysitters
The door opens out but somehow she managed to kick it in..
Well I was thinking of taking him out for drinks then lecturing him about his drinking... kind of like an open minded intervention
Medicine hack, old crowe and ramen flavor packets isnt a cure for the cold.
my grocery list today consisted of condoms. and butter.
umm... whats the butter for?
On another note, I think my upstair neighbor is having sex. How awkward would it be if I showed up to her door with a bag of Chipotle?
Randomize
