So I walked out of my room and there was my brother....standing naked
he just told me about his fetish for rubbing grape jelly on his penis.
I've never played a more sexually-tense game of Uno in my life.
sorry he hasn't talked to me since the surprise salvia incident...
It's not that drunk me is smarter; it's that sober me is secretly playing for the other team.
The horrors my penis has endured I wouldn't wish upon any man.
What sexual position says im sorry for your loss?
You just kept shouting "I AM AN ADULT!" until he agreed to carry you home on his shoulders.
I think my vagina is phsycic. All day it tingled and then BAM Channing Tatums look alike fucks me like ive never been fucked in my life.
And now you know why we call him Three-Balls Brad
Even blacked out me knows not to sleep with socks on
He made me chicken tenders and margaritas in preparation for me to take a pregnancy test at his place later tonight. Like...seriously.
He lives 20 minutes away driving distance and decided to walk. I talked to him today and he took a nap along the way... In a cemetery.
How'd things go with that guy last night?
He threw up in the consol in my car then started crying about his ex girlfriend.
We ran out of vodka, so instead of body shots you wanted to do cupcake shots off her naked body...happy birthday to you.
Randomize
