I'm totally gay for Miss Californiaaaaaa
oh sweet, sweet irony
I drank it, and now my boss keeps hitting me in the face with beams of light.
Tripping at your desk probably isn't the best plan you've had.
why cant girls ever use the fly? why do they always have to awkwardly try to pull it over your belt?
just had sex with a midget and didnt wrap it... were totally gonna have a tv show :)
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm watching Cheaper By The Dozen. I almost forgot that Hilary Duff was a really shitty actor before she was a really shitty singer.
It makes me feel uncomfortable and unsafe when he licks my pants
Never again will we have slut saturday. Never.
gladiator or hannah montana?
This is why I never have to ask who you are when I get a new phone.
Worst part of blacking out... Waking up and having to do the teeth check
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I had a dream where I was about to fight you but you were dressed like a greek god and had just killed a werewolf with your bare hands
He autographed my vag. This fuck just got authentic.
Telling the family you're going for a run, getting dressed in workout clothes, and then walking halfway around the block and smoking a joint. This is my life
I made a half way decent playlist
Im gonna call it "hanging myself"
someone at the bars was yelling at the bouncer to let him in because he "just passed through the 7 levels of the candy cane forrest" soulmate?
go meet him and give him your number.
The cat likes watching me spank Michael. I don’t know how to feel about this.
Randomize