69 |D_O
wtf does that mean??
it's a very specialized emoticon, means 'i heard you fucking some dude through my bedroom wall last night and so i listened intently"
Can you please tell me why there's a bottle of urine on my night stand with a note that says "in case you're thirsty in the morning"? Thanks.
Today in class was pretty awsome. I dont feel like i have to throw up and im actually paying attention. This is a first for friday
I got an MIP via FUCKING HELICOPTER. Tuscaloosa police either have nothing to do or too many resources.
i mean, i stole her boyfriend and beat her snake score on facebook within 48 hours. not her week.
What color are my eyes?
Ummmm... 34 C?
So are you still down for me to come stay with you and just have sex on vicodin all weekend?
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ok so I've decided, new penis Thursday (formally known as new people Thursday) will need to be put on hold next week in preparation for Friday
Memorial weekend is the following week genius. New penis Thursday countdown has already begun.
Made myself shower before I'd masturbate. I probably should have wined and dined myself too, but that's pushing it too far.
How do I discreetly dispose of sex toy packaging that is recyclable? What to do...what to do?
Fun fact: drinking me now steals weaponry
like every night i go out someone always suggests nipple hugs so that's why I always end up topless
but you were the sluttiest panda there and you need to embrace it
i love it when bitches who pick on you in high school get fat. thank you facebook you have made my day.
I bet you my entire life savings of $0 that there's a Doctor Who porn parody and that it features the sonic screwdriver being inserted into some cavities
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