Last night i stole a disco ball from a frat house by pretending i was pregnant.
almost passed out on the way to class today.. laid down in a construction site. bad idea
The highlight of my night was definitely explaining the bandaid on my nipple.
He shoved his balls through an egg carton and showed us a picture. They were surprisingly egg-like.
be proud. or at least amused. an 18 yr old and a 25 yr old at least makes my average hookup age this week the same as my age.
Drank a beer through my butt, how's your initiation going?
I just finished packing for spring break, took me 4 minutes. To be fair though I only put my trunks, a pair of underwear, and 50 condoms in my bag.
I accidentally told my mom "the reason I didn't answer your call is because my phone was in my pants, on the floor"
I've been watching porn with my cat lately. No shame
I'm using the Malibu pitcher you stole from the bar to make pancakes this morning. It's actually working really well.
I'm sure nobody at Walmart was wondering why I was wearing a glittery tutu and needed $300 changed into small bills
This is me trying to take a picture to send to grandma. At 4. We were trying to look sober.
But I did discover that he's totally okay with going down on me while I eat taco bell so that's a plus, right?
What are best friends for?
Picking your clothes up from a one night stand you had nearly 2 months ago
Sorry I had sex in your backseat while everyone was in the car
It's quite alright. I found his shorts in my backseat, not sure what he was wearing when we dropped him off
Randomize
