just heard a tri-delta girl talking about her drunken escapades last weekend...it's like the exact plotline to a hardcore porno.
I need a DD tuesday morning around 9 AM
I'm scared to ask why.....
1st bikini wax. Jose Cuervo is helping me prepare.
i just unblacked out cuddled in a pita pit booth with ten dollars rubberbanded to my hand.
Let's just do a victory lap through all of our exes.
I have way too big of a thanksgiving food baby to enjoy any of my old high school booty calls
I have a surprise for you guys
What is it?
A MOTHER FUCKING SURPRISE DON'T ASK QUESTIONS
It's that whole "half Japanese, half asshole" thing. My brother and I have found that people really go for that
seriously, i never want to drink Robitussin again. her face was melting as i tried to convince her i wasnt high and i probably would have fucked ray. his parents thought i was a sweet charming lesbian.
This is why you are not allowed out in public.
I bet yours is gonna be filled with secret innuendo.
secret innuendo and cervical punches to the world.
Yesterday you said I was the best.
No. I said you DID your best. There's a huge difference.
Kinda awkward to hear your aunt complain about loose women when you're in town to be a stunt dick for a swingers convention. Just sayin.
I just projectile vomited into my kitchen sink. Today need to be over already.
so we have roughly decided that hes the dude all the chicks will bang in college, just so he will do their term papers
he's single and there are thong briefs.
I met up with trey last night. He whispered in my ear "I love you" then raised his voice and said "but not in a I want to marry you kind of way, but if you died I would cry."
Randomize
