Skipped a towel and decided to spit the cum into his face. I now owe him new contacts.
His facebook interests include 'unstrapping velcro'.
I fucking love fucking science majors-- she told me that she wanted to know if her gag reflex got better or worse with alcohol, and that her initial evidence had been inconclusive. So, next few weeks, yeah, gettin blown periodically. All I have to do is keep a log.
My #1 goal this summer is to get drunk at olive garden
Yeah, I just met her and we got arrested together. I think it was a good bonding experience.
i dont care if it was her birthday. if she leaves me with a half rack of budweiser and her boyfriend obviously shits gonna go down.
Do you remember snorting allspice and yelling at doughnut shop girl?
Was last night real? Did I lick your forehead while you laid in between my legs while we laid next to your boyfriend?
Well I talked to some Canadians today, and I'm keeping a vigilant watch for sharks, so I'm pretty booked up.
I don't remember, but I believe your goodnight phrase was "nice meeting you, thanks for not macing me"
How will you ever teach your dogs to pee outside when the biggest puddle on your bedroom carpet is from you?
He noticed my new Lipstick so later tonight it's going to be on his dick.
I'm not the type to go to a guys house...in your case his boat...and sleep with them..I mean I have in the past but I'm trying to be more serious and grown up
My mom found me this morning passed out, face down on my dinning room floor
That must have been one awkward situation haha
Well I woke up in my bed.... I don't remember her finding me
He kept saying "i'm lost" while he was sitting on his couch...
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