i'm so hungover...i might vomit in a handbag instead of selling them
how drunk are you?
What does that even mean anymore?
this isnt the person you just texted but i have her phone. she disappeared when the bacon came home and she hasn't returned since.
To put it in a frame of reference with which you're familiar, it was like making out with a golden retriever.
You mailed him a break up letter, because you thought the "joy of receiving a letter" would ease the pain of you dumping him.
that girl from work that wants to bone me just said 'the last time i went this long without sex was in jail'. sup, red flag
i love that youre following in my footsteps.. pissing yourself on your birthday is an honor and a privlege
I saved him as teletubby in my phone....that can't be a good sign. I'm not answering.
I promise it'll work. Just go there and keep the lights off and keep saying blaowww. She'll think your me.
the gays at disneyland are vicious
he doesn't sweat normal. maybe that's what THC smells like coming through the sweat glands...
In bathroom. Hand in air with cell phone. Help.
I need two food groups: booze and turkey sandwiches
At least your nickname is not Plunge Slut and that nickname is not in a published thesis work
I’ve looked at so many mouse vaginas in the past week
Randomize
