so the car was packed with everything from my dorm, plus my mom. during the 6 hour trip home she found my kama sutra. started flippin through it.....
oh shit that had to have been awkward
i thought so too. until she asked what the check marks were for
I'm having a terrible night. Can I sleep over?
Too tired to pretend that I care : (
I can't believe he cheated
Whatever. Anytime she has an orgasm, it's because I taught him how
I'm about to cry with happyness at the beer that will be consumed
How can it be called memorial day weekend....I don't even remember this weekend
Most sexually ambiguous night of my life. Kept switching from the NBA finals to the Tonys.
You told me to remind you that the bruise on your ass is from when you danced on the table at Ziggy's, saw a cop and tried to 'fly away'.
I really resent how she stayed home and ruined my plans to watch sci-fi and masturbate.
I've made my dad a martini every night since I was 13.. I got this
Pretty sure I humiliated the fuck out of myself last night after I was dared to attempt to give myself head. I hate vodka
No offense, I mean I'm sure you rocked my world and all but I don't remember.
he didn't stitch me up last time. in fact, he yelled at me for bleeding.
Letting Freddy Krueger eat me out = HAPPY HALLOWEEN TO ME!!!
The struggle bus has heated seats and stops at Dunkin on Friday mornings so I'll be okay.
Yiu ever laugh so hard you stop breathing? Turns out weed -can- kill you.
Randomize
