32 messages asking me to suck his dick. And there for a minute i thought i was desperate. ha!
Hahahaha
make that 40.
Nah, lets use your guy, my drug dealer is going all pineapple express on me
You don't understand, Single Ladies is like the Don't Stop Believing of the gay community.
just got hammed at grandma and grampas 30th aniversary bash .. from the looks i was getting im guessing i wont be seeing an inheritance ...
I wanna get "leaving my dick in charge" drunk.
You just kept walking around saying "my brain is soup" then sat on the kitchen counter washing your feet. You bit the guy that tried to help you down
I already googled the effects of Molly with my antibiotics, I should be fine.
Why is there even a knowledge base for that?!
it would be a downgrade if your vagina tasted like skittles
i miss freshman lecture halls much harder to take shots in a class of 20
I feel awkward giving career advice while naked
I cant go through life without knowing what ginger pubes actually look like
That's MADAM THUNDERCUNT to you
Just discovered I was so fucked up last night I called in sick to work... TWICE
I refuse to fake an orgasm. If I'm dating him, he better work for that shit.
You should probably come home from vacation now. I make badddd decisions when you're gone.
Randomize
