pwbgyin
what?
penguin condom
It was still light ouot when we were walking up Pier Ave and she kept asking if she could suck my nipples.
Nothing says I've got my life together like buying a jumbo bottle of 7$ wine in sweat pants on a monday night
I was walking around outside with a basket of eggs. I feel like little house on the prairie: hungover edition.
I honestly can't remember your justification for putting peanut butter on your cell phone.
I've already agreed to hook up with 3 people tonight, and its not even 2:00 yet... I think this is what the path to success looks like.
The effect you have on my penis from a different state is impressive
i am willing to donate my body to this science experiment when it means free blowjobs
is that a sigh of girlish delight, or "sigh...I'm having a herpes outbreak'
Can't it be both?
I was so drunk last night I asked a rando at the bar to take a picture with me cause I thought he was in the band
Nothing wrong with a few meaningless hookups. Keeps the mind occupied and the body satisfied
Anyone who has court these next few days keep your head up & smile knowing we broke the County Record with 27 underage consumptions
Yah. I'm gonna lay you down and feed you grapes, except I'm gonna replace grapes for my balls
I look over and the both of you are naked, and he's eating chicken nuggets off the floor
Drunk me wants sober me to be happy, woke up with half a dozen doughnuts in my bed this morning.
Randomize
