My bra smells like weed because there's weed in my bra
The sun is out and the snow is finally starting to melt here... Vodka bottles keep popping up everywhere. Guess it's the college version of burying nuts for the winter
He poured syrup on all those broken dishes because "syrup is magical, and by the time we wake up, they'll be fixed."
Just so you know, I'm standing in my bra eating cereal. My keys were in the cereal box.
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Gees I domt know what your deal was. You kept looking at Nick and shaking your head frantically and doing a weird motion with your hands
Tgat was the small dick alert
Guess who is playing his new drum set when his roommate gets home to teach her a lesson about binge drinking to the point of being taken to the emergency room?
I think that's the key to being an adult though... Get those rapid fire beer shits out I the way early, then you can go about your grown man business
When a man can't even pay attention to you when you're telling him about how big his penis is, there's something wrong
I made everything so magnificently awkward in under 15 seconds. I am magic.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Kid got so high from the brownies he forgot his own name. Welcome to college.
I wanna get a tattoo next to my tattoo that says, my ex did this so don't fucking ask
You've hit rock bottom, swam around the ocean floor, and brought back silverware from the titanic.
someone at the bars was yelling at the bouncer to let him in because he "just passed through the 7 levels of the candy cane forrest" soulmate?
go meet him and give him your number.
just stepped out my front door and let the wind dry my naked body because I was too lazy to go search for a clean towel that may not even exist. I could live like this forever
I'm too hungover to Google him and try to save face.
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