so do the steelers give the refs blowjobs at halftime or after the game?
please remember that your boobs are bigger than your sisters. when you borrow her shirts they stretch and then shes left flapping in the breeze. dont borrow her clothes anymore. love dad.
The neighbors are smoking hash and doing Julia Child impressions...again.
Just saw the first guy I gave head to lose in the french open...some how I feel better that my mistake made it to the same mistake as our relationship, the third round. Don't judge.
Its trashy in the best of ways. Like a stripper working to pay for college.
Yo I tried to get u stoned for ur dreams by blowing weed smoke in ur face while u slept. Ur welcome.
no, i remember trying to staple my nipples together. I just can't figure out where the hell stapler came from.
It must have been an amazing night, I have "my pants are responsible people" written on my pants in permanent marker.
Please collect your boy friend. He semi-passed out on the couch and trying to grab bums as people walk by. Anyone's bum, he's not choosy.
Yo if you blacked out last night, careful going through your purse. There's cocaine in a lollipop wrapper.
the best part of college is nobody can tell me not to eat six toaster strudels and jerk off in the shower
I woke up in a chipotle parking lot with an industrial sized box of condoms and a bag of dounut holes. I need Jesus
My life has hit a new low, I just licked MDMA of someone's bed.
It's a sad day when you're not really phased by the McChicken video only because you've seen weirder porn.
you told us the chicken was mocking you, then proceeded to explain that every time someone reads your mind you accidentally think of something sexual
Randomize