Spaghetti and Car Bombs, good idea or what will end up on the bar in a few minutes?
she told me she sucks everyone's dick but mine because mine is too big and "hard to suck" i need to reevaluate the girls i fall in love with.
I've never heard a "this is the reason why i dont suck your cock" explanation go in that direction
This just became a night full of adventures...and by adventures I mean hitting people with my car
Gravity stopped and i'm discussing Greek philosophy with two guys I don't know. There's someone asleep on me. We need to use their dealer.
It was rough. I have dried puke in my hair and I don't know if it's mine or from the girl I met on the ground waiting for a cab.
Is your gma going to be okay with me passed out drunk on the ground
So did I or did I not flash an entire concert last night?
I also slapped not one but two bananas on the ass, twerked in public, and I think I made out with someone
I'm in the line at Chipotle thinking: "What combo will best prepare my body for the open bar I'm going to subject it to tonight?"
my grandpa paid for my boob job but he just doesn't know it.
I'm totally going to bang the cable guy tonight. I'm so pumped
My brother is chasing tequila with vodka. Not sure how it will turn out, but I like his style.
just woke up on the floor with a bottle in my hand. and by bottle, i mean a baby bottle. half filled with tequila.
Why is it pressure? I want to see your cute face and possibly sit on it. You make it like its a bad thing.
I cant wait to tell our kids we met because you subscribed to my onlyfans.
Randomize