i think the fact that he graduated high school the year i graduated elementary school is sexy.
my sister and i are watching a movie and pregaming together. and by pregaming i mean shes not drinking since she 14 and im drinking alone.
Things found in my vomit last night: cell phone, Von Hayes rookie card, a boot, my dignity
She soaked the fruit in vodka for ten minutes and then mixed it with normal fruit and sherbert icecream. It was called "lottery fruit".
Man, i was looking at the pictures i took last night in one i was on the Kentucky line fist pumping with a hobo..wth happened?
Saturday dinner is funfetti cake and merlot. Singlehood has come to this.
I am making pancakes and watching Spongebob Squarepants. My life is a waste of youth.
I think it was the free bomb shots from the creepy bolivians that sent us over the edge
So help my penis see only you. Give him some attention as well.
OMG. Hung over at my grandparents house. Threw up on 3 T-stops, countless snowbanks, and the grandparents driveway. Was proposed to last night. Bruised from head to toe from falling down 3 flights of stairs. Debating my intelligence because it seems that "happy new years" is too hard for me to spell. How were your new years festivities?
I'm in my onesie attempting to spoon-feed myself cold soup. I'm playing freeze tag with my hangover. My hangover's winning.
You danced?!
I just jiggle to the beat like a sexy lava lamp
STOP PUTTING PICTURES OF JONAH HILL IN MY KITCHEN CABINETS!
Wanna get drunk and play candy land? If so you are 2 steps behind.
I need like a billion tiny bottles of alcohol to put in the patron pinatas
Randomize
