He came in the heat vent in my car. Don't ask how it happened.
Why's my alcoholism being used to prove a point?
The dog threw up again, this time IN the toilet. I've taught him well.
Since when does sleeping with your RA not result in free meal swipes? I feel so tricked...
Tonights theme there is the 7 deadly sins. Greed, envy, sloth, gluttony, sluttiness, fellatio and vodka.
One fish gets drugged and suddenly I'm labeled a bad pet owner. This is so unfair.
His hair looked like he was in a bukaki and then got a perm right after
Well you ended up trying to convince two Greek girls that you were Greek, but failed massively by shouting at them in Spanish, and then almost vomiting after taking way too much snuff. Maybe lay off the guinness next time?
but I have boobs. I'm not going to buy my own drinks at the bar like some kind of fucking animal.
Fuck it, I work hard. I deserve nice sex toys
How is it that I know 4 different bartenders who won't charge me for drinks, but I can't get laid?
I mean, drunk me really liked him, maybe sober me will too. Who am I to deny fate?
I have just discovered the land of milk and honey. and by milk i mean vodka and by honey i mean tequila.
Panties = found
I smell Vodka. It's me. If anyone asks it's totally hand sanitizer.
Randomize
