Like all of my pajamas are shirts of guys I shacked with in college
I just woke up and realized I puked in my boxers WTF.
You stay classy.
The worst part was I forgot until I tried to put them on.
after we finished we were both getting water at the kitchen sink...butt naked
so?
then my sister's foreign roommate walked out...in footy pajamas
its not facebook stalking, its market reasearch
lets grab drinks (in a friendly, not super awkward because ive eaten your ass kind of way) sometime soon
wow.
Did Kevin really put his bar tab under the name Hercules last night?
I know I said I wouldn't, but he told me I looked like Mila Kunis. Reasons not to fuck him, go.
Just got my first unemployment direct deposit!!!' celebrating at the beach
Me toooooo!! Margaritas
I never knew being a drain on a functioning society would feel so good
We haven't even eaten dinner yet and she's already been asked to "take it down a notch" by the groom's mom.
This is home. And home is where you find your family. And you try not to make out with your family.
I fucked him twice and then he set me up with his teammate. This kid does wonders for me
Thanks for duct tapping my dick to my leg while I was passed out. I could only aim straight down. I stood on your bed. Have a nice day at work!
Dad is wasting no time getting back out there. Just walked in on him and a Twin Peaks waitress in the hot tub
Someone sitting next to me at this football game is totally eating chicken nuggets out of his pocket and drinking four loko. I wanna be him.
Our conversation went from you choking me to my quarter life crisis reeeaaalllll quick.
Randomize
