you started keeping track of only every even numbered drink you had
Food Network. Taking bong rips everytime we want to eat. BOBBY FLAY.
Sorry for my penis texting you last night, I can't control what he wants at 4am.
Dude, Taco Bell gave me a free fiesta potatoes when I won a bet on wether I could fit the entire rim of a cup in my mouth.
I believe some people would call last night an orgy.
Sorry the STD update turned into an attempt at a bootycall, but at least we both know we're clean now
i was like his sober eyes girls would come up to us, show us theirs and if approved by me blew him, if rejected they went to my truck with a bottle of patron
can we get vodka so I have an excuse for being an emotional wreck
after tonight, seriously nothing could taste better than toothpaste
Dont care what i do tnt just as long as i get to chug a beer in somebodys face
he apologises profusely for spelling mistakes in his texts but doesn't care about cheating on me. priorities
Not exactly hook line and sinker right away, but I'll give him a second chance. I should sext him me in my blue shark onesie.
I'm glad you don't care about kids. That's one of your better qualities.
THIS IS AN AMERICAN HORROR STORY I CAN'T FIND MY VIBRATOR ANYWHERE WHICH MEANS I LOST IT WHEN I MOVED WHICH MEANS MY POOR VIBRATOR IS OUT THERE IN THE WORLD ALL ALONE RIGHT NOW WHAT AM I GOING TO DO
I have four things I would like to do over summer too... Problem is they're all roommates
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