Will you blow on my dice?
my feelings for you are synonymous with those of a grizzly bear and salmon. i don't want to nom on you; but i need you to survive
dude i have an english essay and a bio lab due tomorow
so basically your not goin out tonight?
who said that?
I don't think he grasps the fact that I would much rather he finish inside me than on my $400 Anthropolgie bedspread
We ran out of ice cubes so I used ice cream. Everyone thought that was the plan all along. I just went with it.
What are you doing? Did I punch you in the face last night?
Yeah he's definitely gonna feel that one when he wakes up. I beat the shit out of him with that broom handle.
I can only only sleep there on nights I orgasm cause he snores so loud and if he leaves me hanging one more time ill probably cut off his dick from lack of sleep and frustration
You had a fry stuck to your face... Every five mins you would wake up, take a bite, put it back then fall asleep again...
Knowing that porn stars want to fall in love is the weirdest thing I've found to be beautiful recently. I'm so lonely.
Am I just high or is she having an auction for her vagina on Twitter
I threw up in the shower. I cleaned it all up and there is on mess at all. This hangover has become borderline religous. Powerful and life changing.
I tired using vodka to remove my makeup
everytime he speaks i want to fuck him less. i just wanna tell him to shut up and take his pants off and we could both be happy.
eating a weed cupcake with nutella on top at work. i AM a star!
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