Did I tell you he has dinosaur sheets?
Old men and throwing up are my life now.
So apparently I told him I was off to go "whore skipping" and I disappeared into the night skipping down the street. I know this because there's video.
You dropped me off at the wrong girl's house.
There's no such thing as a "wrong girl" make it happen.
alright see you in the morning.
Still workable. Pretty sure i told her i'd eat her out in the woods.
You just kept yelling, "THAT'S THE POWER OF PINESOL, BABY!"
We're making herpes jokes very loudly and hoping she notices.
Disasters an understatement. Hurricane alpha chi omega hit. On my way to buy carpet cleaner, super glue, and a new liver. Be back soon.
Also I'd like you to set a calendar reminder that goes off every day for you to take 2 minutes to think about what your life would be like without me.
That white girl was surprised to see orange pubes around my black cock. Happy Halloween!
All i remember about last night is holding a bottle of bacardi and screaming challenge accepted!
Pro: she asked me to be a bridesmaid. Con: i only have about nine months to get over a phobia of midget strippers.
And if I could both stabilize myself *and* pick things up with my penis... Well, I wouldn't be on the fire dept...
If there's anything my liberal arts education has taught me, it's belligerence.
They walked into the house to see me in my neon pink knee high socks trying to pull you out of the cat carrier by your legs...
Randomize
