I have been thinking about it and I am really glad we decided to order helmets.
Probably should plan this out. Step one: grow stache. Two: get trenchcoat. Three: Kidnap Selena Gomez.
I had better be fucking involved with step four.
in the practice room. just found 3 bottles of smirnoff hidden inside the piano. SO glad i didn't get into berklee...
I just remembered before I gave him head I couldn't find a hair tie and he offered to hold my hair up. Maybe we were wrong.. Maybe he does have a heart.
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He tried to fight me not realizing that I work as a bouncer in the the same bar we were in. His night ended with him in handcuffs, missing teeth, PLUS I got his shots that he ordered since he didn't get to drink them.
Did you seduce any young men into coming home to your love nest of poutine and jäger bombs?
That and I was watching this life alert commercial and I'm pretty sure my liver turned up the volume for more information
The guy next to me just said he wont play beer pong on principle. Im scared.
The party invite said "this ain't no lame stoplight party, you come to hookup or you don't come" I feel like their honesty deserves out attendance
Not to mention having our pick at the ensuing sausagefest
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all I'm saying is that my epic blow jobs have made grown professional football players cry in ecstasy
You know how I said I hit my head so hard I saw two of him and tried to make out with both? Well, it turns out he has a twin.
Oh man
I hooked up with the lead singer of the band at the wedding. I am so hungover.
...I watched him run on the beach yesterday and I think I started ovulating
He stood up through the sunroof yelling "CHOCOLATE MILK BITCHESSSS!!!! YOU AIN'T WORTH SHIT NOW!!!" the sad part is he wasn't even drunk yet. I worry about him sometimes.
FYI bail money is still in my drawer. I know you have no car but you need to know this for tomorrow.
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