My booty call said shes done doing the walk of shame. Wtf is that?
It's what anyone that sleeps with you, specifically, does when they leave. Some do it even when they just think of you.
I'd do that. But we would need storm trooper helmets.
She came over with Guinness cupcakes, a case of Mickeys, wearing an Ireland flag & nothing else.
theres always time to masturbate. my grandpa taught me that.
so this was truly a case of the blacked out leading the blacked out.
I'm heating up a hotdog using a candle.
He dated me before I started drinking. I feel like he deserves a consolation bj for all the effort he had to put in to get in my pants.
i told them to call me paula dean as i was making all 10 for $10 boxes of pizza rolls in the microwave
The dingo escaped by eating a hole through my screen door. It's loose in the city somewhere.
scratch that I can tell you where she is shes drunk on a beach somewhere being a penis slayer
Sarah's knitting me a hat as an apology for unknowingly making out with my boyfriend
I love it when he cheats on me with nice people
You're a five foot adderall and caffeine fueled ball of sexual frustration and suppressed rage. It's only a matter of time before you snap. We're taking bets on when.
So my roommate just came out of the shower with a dude...guess that answers all questions as to whether or not he's gay
Honestly the prospect of dick really lifts a girl's spirits
I have easymac and six pack of beer. This night can't get any better.
Randomize
