i'd date him for the sole reason that he thanks me after giving him head
what am i going to do when LOST is over? What am i going to get high to?
I tried doing a handstand in the middle of the bar and I ended up kicking this old guy in the face and broke his glasses. Thats how I got kicked out
Dude, just look at these fucking curtains and chill out.
I thought it was improvement but then i realized sex isn't an emotion and I hate everyone
Sailor Jerry came over for the evening. It was a magical evening. I didn't even get puke in the house.
We just broke my bed mid-sex, laughed, then continued. If that isn't true love I don't know what is.
Im so glad I make morally wrong decisions. It's like the best worst thing I've ever done.
just like fucking own it. stare that cop in the eye and just keep masturbating "yeah motherfucker Im high as shit and this feels great"
The cop told me I was the prettiest guy he'd arrested in a while. I'm still not sure if it was a come on or not.
Congrats! Its a fuck boy!
Seriously if we go to rome ur fucking me into the sunset on a wrought iron balcony overlooking Vatican City
bonus check + party bus = big hot mess
just learned i can hear my fish chewing his food WHILE HES IN HIS BOWL. im going to have to call you back.
We are never doing shots of gin. Never again.
I'm pretty sure that's exactly what we're doing.
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