Really stoned
just sent my roommate on a cheese run
In hindsight maybe we should have moved his homework instead of playing quarters on top of it.
Also pencil in smooth jazz and illegal activities. The usual.
We can grow old together and our livers can fail together
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He upper decked the toilet, got himself lit on fire 6 times and lit 4 other people on fire in the course of 3 days.
I just realized I have yet to puke in your new apartment. Clearly we're doing something wrong. On my way over with Cuervo as I type.
And by go well you mean everyone's hammered right?
Yupp. And someone's bleeding
One small step for man, one big gay fierce leap for gays!
Well, he asked what my sign was, then proceeded to critique me on my beer pong stance... I really need to raise my standards.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's like she fell out of an MTV reality show and no one knows how to send her back
Don't do shots out of Tostitos scoops.
Yeah I blacked out in a wiener costume.... I think I'm ready to come home now.
It took me an hour to walk from my drive way to my front door... what the fuck was in that weed?
come pick your gf up from my house. she's sitting in the fridge and hissing at the cat to let her eat the potatoes. btw i dont have a cat
Dear in laws. I am not spending any holidays with you. I dislike your company. A lot.
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