I think I have internal bruising from those poses we were doing last night. My own ribs hurt me. I don't understand.
just had to explain to the health center why i wanted 50 condoms a month.
fun fact of the day: the man setting up my checking account at my bank has thrown up on my front lawn.
It smells like someone died in our apartment and ya'll used some random orifice of his body to smoke weed out of. Side note, how did we get a guitar?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She made me take my shoes off outside her room but she didn't make me wear a condom. I am confused.
It would only make sense that I'd cheat on him with his best friend on the ides of march...
I am both excited and frightened by the fact that this much everclear is legal here. Best vacation ever.
May the one with the liver that just won't quit win
He sent me a pic of her engagement ring and then STILL asked for nudes.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think he's holding my wallet hostage because I puked in his car. It's not my fault he has child locks on his windows..
Come here I'm naked
And I want mozzarella sticks
Is it too far to say to someone "you're useless for everything besides sex"
I once broke a mans heart just to get laid by a premature ejaculator
I'm gunna wear a purple dress, so if you see someone looking confused and lost wearing purple it's probably me
well you're talking to a woman who had glorious sex less than 24 hrs ago so my opinion is biased.
Randomize