Who is this?
Who do you want it to be?
Sarah Palin
I've got the updo, bangs, and glasses, but I'm blonde
There is something about drinking on a golf course and getting with younger women that just really makes me feel at home.
I think I have swimmer's ear. From his tongue.
I just had a dream where Bob Saget recognized me from when I hung out with him in a dream I had months ago.
i got a blow job in the bathroom during intermission at the hockey game. i'm pretty sure i made Canada proud.
Just walked by a yard full of girls wearing bikinis. I did my best to stare.
Of course I'm hard in the pics. If there's a chance that these pictures will cause a scandal later in my life I at least want my dick to look it's biggest
im not even sure if i fucked her just woke up in her closet.
Great. Now I'm always going to be the roommate that boned a guy with a third nipple.
Pretty sure the nurse said at one point I was in full restraints because I tried surfing my stretcher
We told you to go get more fire wood and you came running back with a log that was on fire, not drunk at all.
They should make eskimo sister bracelets. OMG WE NEED BRACELETS WITH IGLOOS ON THEM.
Well, I ruined his toilet and he's still completely okay with me. Plus, it took him like a week to tell me.
If a girl I didn't love ruined my toilet I don't think I'd stick around.
Just saw 4 of my students at Denny's at 4am on a Tuesday. We all pretended not to see each other, as we are all clearly tipsy and/or stoned. Class is in less than 4 hours. Either i'm getting too old for this shit or they're starting on the road to crazy-town much earlier these days.
I only gave you one rule about using the beach house: don’t get cum on anything!
You’ve seen my tits! You had to know that rule was unrealistic! Does it help that he was really cute?
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