I'm being pulled over???
For what!?!?!
??? I'm in a cab!!!!!
these pics are all outta focus - was this what the camera saw? or what your eyes saw?
We're 3 acts into this drag show and we've already run out of Lady Gaga songs.
Who would have thought the night we were surrounded by 4 cops would be the most responsible night of the week.
This gyro tastes like lonliness
Woke up with my foot jammed into a VCR
gave him road head on the way to his grandparents house. purposely didn't let him finish, the sexual tension over turkey was indescribable.
She suggested that I come visit her in Europe and hook up with the heteroflexible Korean who sits next to her in class. Polylove is the best love.
I'm going back to his house to watch wreck it Ralp.
Hey, Monsters Inc. got me laid. Disney man, who knew it leads to sex.
Amanda, I can 99.9% assure you i'm probably never going to bang your mom
I DON'T LIKE THAT SENTENCE
People try and tell me I never learn me lesson, well that's a bunch of crap. I asked for Monday off for Superbowl recovery based on my experience last year.
Leave it to you to bring a trash can into a fist fight.
The dick lei will go down in squad history
We banged in my car doggy style with my head out the window. The sky was marvelous and I saw a shooting star. Its destiny; we're meant to fuck forever.
So, 'head before the store' turned into a fuck fest, & that's how I ended up at the grocery store smelling like a cum farm on Black Friday. How's your weekend?
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