shaved balls and baby powder=awesome
so..some girl walked up to me on the porch last night. She came to apologize for peeing on our lawn a few days ago. I just looked at her and said it was ok, she wasn't the first.
how do you have sooo much energy?
billy mays threw in a lil somethin extra when i ordered some oxiclean last week
i just lost my virginity over my 3 hour lunch break..
u hav a 3 hour lunch break?!
i like how the length of my lunch break is the thing that phases u
would it be subtle enough if I played birthday sex on repeat while I may or may not be stripping?
I didn't think it was possible but there may actually be TOO MANY pictures of me tagged shotgunning.
I got a Luke Skywalker costume so I can go do battle with the homeless guy who plays the fiddle dressed as Darth Vader downtown.
Going home with an argentinian named sulvio. Ill let you know how it goes.
I definitely did a line of something I don't know with a Pagan biker. I make good decisions.
And I don't know what it is about weed making me want every episode of the real housewives of everywhere
So... remember when you threw an orange in the closet when we were 16 to make wine? Just found it. Not wine.
Just went to court for a citation. Guess who my DA was? That girl I ATM'd last weekend. No ticket for me!
Pretty much all i've had today is sugar and orgasms
His junk had piercings everywhere. The dick and balls. It was a fucking pirate penis.
What do you do when you legitimately find a hidden sex dungeon in your parents basement next to your bedroom!!?
Randomize
