So now everyone thinks I don't know what a condom is
The answer to your question is yes. I am wearing a star of david to the bar in order attract a jewish man.
i told her that i loved her pillow breasts and then she asked me if i wanted to motor boat them. so yea, i do need the room tonite.
Thanks for putting pants on me last night. And for calling me a princess.
Three guys came up to me at the bar and started dancing on me, while screaming "Johnson's girl." That's the last time I sleep with a freshmen.
if you need to find her look her up on www.imastupidslut.org
.org?
yeah. they're non profit. helps them sleep at night.
you said candy land and then passed out.
ps. we found your stash in the candyland game. Thanks.
Ok John needs to move to the other side of the county. I do not like to be approached for a blow job in the produce section of Holiday Market.
And they were awkwardly all over each other in a Christian way.
I couldn't figure out her damn button fly jeans... IM NOT A FUCKING ENGINEER
Are you still free tonight?
Oh shit I kinda forgot and took acid
Rule travel - in 2s or put an ankle monitor on me, and maybe a shock collar.
Is eating a dinner of fishsticks and gin mean you're failing at adulthood? I'm asking for a friend.
Seeing someone hit Themselves in the balls with someone else's hand is amazing. I love being the sober one
It's a shame I've been hooking up with him for 6 months and he still doesn't know my real name.
Randomize
