he only lasted three minutes, so to spite him i stayed the night and slept in.
We'll see haha. The cum didn't work...I just chewed the whole thing in a day.
I hope you meant gum...
Don't try to dry clothes in the microwave. They'll catch on fire.
I got offered a handle of vodka and tomato soup to bring his dog home. He knows me all too well.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't understand how she could dump me AFTER we had shower sex. I'm fucking great at shower sex
Yeah... I still gave her a hug because I felt really bad though. I mentioned that my boyfriends grandma just died too, just to reinforce that I'm straight afterwards.
We're looking for the removeable roof from her Miata. Winner gets a 40.
I work nights. I sleep in. I take online classes. And fuck bad bitches. I'd say those are some perks to grad school.
You don't know how emotionally damaged I am from crashing into that park maintenance van. I'll never ride a bike because of it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He added me on LinkedIn while I was baking weed brownies in the boxers he left here... Is this adulthood?
When you sleep in the bathroom, you're no longer a guest.
Now with the essential back story, I can empathize. Sorry about your beer and butthole.
So I'm at home coloring while smoking a joint. It can only go down hill from here.
Yeah I'm just gonna stay here and spread my horniness to the world.
besides the unzipped fly, the black eye and the toilet paper on your shoe you looked really sexy today baby!
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