At least we don't have one night stands
True that. We sink our claws in our men.
Whatever it was. it was pregnant.
I'm at work, still drunk. Can you turn on the radio? If the station goes off the air I passed out. Can't get fired. Haven't slept yet.
i can't believe you were mixing vodka with green tea last night and enjoying it.
i should bottle and sell it. my slogan could be "green tea vodka. antioxidating while intoxiacting. your liver will thank you. "
Honestly, I don't care whether it was a guy or a girl. Best blowjob ever.
She climbed through the window and into my bed. Not even sure who she is. Was thinking she might be a friend of yours?
I was gonna tell her, but there were too many tongues in my mouth
All I know is I was dancing to Shakira in his alley and I think rubbing my junk on his car door.
Im just using you for your dick and your superb survival skills if needed.
It's gay softball weekend. Lots of hot gay strangers to go home with.
I don't know his last name, but he's in phone as Pat the conqueror.
I mean, I introduced myself as "the after party". I think he knew early in the night he was in for a bangathon.
You are under a naked attack watch for the whole weekend. Shelter in place.
Youre having a picnic
Yeah but all we have is vodka, so it's getting a bit out of hand.
Well, let me first tell you that jack and cokes were ONE FUCKING DOLLAR.. It's like the club wanted me to make poor choices.
Randomize
