Just got to costco. Where are you?
Liquor aisle, bring another cart.
So there is a guy driving a robot around the college of engineering selling energy drinks
i can't sleep with him. he has a scrapbook from the girl he lost his virginity to.
Dude too much vodka. I think I just puked up my heart
That's what you get for taking that guy home. The god of sluttiness is frowning upon you.
I had a flashback of using my sock as a napkin after we got taco bell
I need a genital shamwow being this wet.
HE HAS CHALLENGED MY BADNESS. I MUST CONQUER ALL THAT QUESTIONS MY POWER. BRING FORTH THE TIT PICS.
I think I'm going to call this chapter of my life story "Weekday day-drinking in the park isn't just for the homeless!"
You did a cartwheel, it was terrible.
I remember that cartwheel, it was okay.
But how MUCH of an emergency? Like, should I go to the ER now, or can it wait until after the bar crawl?
You asked to borrow my glasses for a moment. Then you whipped them at someone's head.
The lady that was sitting beside me thought the best way to cheer herself up was to pet and ruffle my hair while crying and telling me her problems...
Pooping with Eye of the Tiger playing. Not a single fuck shall be given.
How don't you remember..? You were getting handfuls of skittles out from our bra screaming TASTE THE RAINBOW.
FINE. BE CELIBATE AND ACCUMULATE CATS. SEE IF I CARE.
Randomize
