I cockslap morals
I was going to clean my house but wine sounded better
so... my grandma just told me i should be a stripper
well at least shes not calling you fat anymore
can u get pink eye on your cock?
So... I'm really sorry I tried to sell you to random people in cars last night
The worse part is i sent a text at like three that said i was getting head... Now i have no idea who's mouth has been on my dick
you went around grabbing cigarettes out of peoples mouths and claiming you were curing cancer.
you were so drunk when the pizza guy got there you told him that you didn't have any money and would trade him the pizza for 3 Porno movies and he totally did it. I may never have to pay for pizza again
I need some transition time from spring break.. can we day drink between classes this week?
Whatever. I'll let someone else deal with his flacid penis.
Do you need a place to sleep? Cause I fucked in the guestroom a few weeks ago and never washed the sheets. But if you don't care neither do I.
We invented this drinking game where you pick and random video and drink for every misspelled word in the youtube comments. It did not end well.
I've shit my pants 4 times in 12 hours... Never trust a fart when u pass 30
You fell in the corner and refused to get up unless someone helped you. And then you crawled under the pool table and took a nap.
Well I may have gotten laid but I over drafted buying pizza so I think that negates everything
Randomize
