I wish I could be a nicer person. Or a more sober one.
He said he wanted to have kids with me so they could grow up to be professional linebackers. Not. A. Complient.
He is offering to pay me back by sending me a dick pic.
.......................................
My thoughts exactly.
just tried to puke while my RA was trying to puke in the stall next to me.bonded for life
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I obviously couldn't but this on your fbook wall. I would get judge. I would willingly get tbagged by him. You can quote me on that.
How soon is too soon to enter the slutty phase of this breakup?
As we were passing the joint around, people were dunking Jenga pieces in Vaseline and sticking them to the window. I also smoked weed with a girl that was in an above the influence commercial.
Nah I've been there. The worst you'll see is some hobo peeing in a sewer at 3 am on a Saturday
I'm gonna chug this bud light an might injure this high school penis, like I'm 17 again
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm trying to be all porn star and he's making it all The Notebook
My fucking earlobe is bruised what the hell
I woke up and found my apartment really clean, appearantly drunk me couldn't tolerate living there anymore and left sober me a lot of insulting post-its...
I am drunkenly riding a razor scooter up and down the hills of Cincinnati
What in the fuck are you doing with your life
Naptime over. I've got fresh contacts and tequila. RAAAAAAGE!
If he’s halfway attractive, employed and cool with me having boytoys, I’ll marry him
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