What do you want? Don't say anything that would make me look like a pussy at the store.
Sorry I wasn't really responding earlier. I was really fucking high and so into that car chase.
Just had sex in the basement of the library... I knew I was paying $120,000 for something more than a law degree
Just orgasmed in canada. I should get a sticker or something that says I orgasmed in a different country.
I pretty much have hash tequila and gelato for dinner every night
Last thing i remember is pounding jager and puking in that nerds george foreman grill. Then i wake up this morning with some random tooth brush in my mouth
When you see a guy in a wheelchair try to be cool and pop a wheelie, and then fall over backward and hit his head, is it funny or sad?
im In safeway buying a bottle of Ciroc in short shorts at 3:00 pm on a Monday, yeah I don't know either.
Remember that time we turned a can of Axe body spray into a flame thrower?
Great news. Our sex broke my otter box
he just sent me a dick pic, it highly resembled a cheese stick
Dude I asked him to get me beef jerky at 4 am and he actually walked to CVS to get it. CVS closes at 12 but it was the perfect opp to dip out
One less thong to worry about.
One less *thing! But probably that too.
dude idk where I am. fuckin like. there wheat field and a horizon and shit. I think I got on a bus? some dude named Sam gave me a pamphlet about Jesus.
I can't talk, I can't walk, I think I'm twitching and I'm not even sure if I'm typing this. Help
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