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ok, stay where you are, be there soon
Woke up this morning at my parent's house. No idea how I got here... what happened last night? Was it bad?
We using my standards or yours?
well, if it gives you any insight into how crazy it was, i am currently wikipediaing "anullment"
It had been so long since my last time that it was easily a double helping of stomach pancakes. I think she was mildly impressed.
Watched a women out our tannin salon literally fight police because she was getting arrested for trying to drunkenly fight the tanning salon owner...we need to step up our day drinking this is shameful.
100% of annual heatstroke fatalities are preventable deaths! Don't let it happen to you! Also, you can catch crabs from almost anything! Be safe and have fun.
We need to pull ourselves out of this slump. We need dick and lots of it. We are going to fuck our way to happiness.
Remember that time we became friends because I shotgunned a Tall Boy in your bathroom?
Those memories are both hazy and awesome.
He tricked me into going on a double date with him, I don't like that he's not using me for just sex anymore
I went on my dinner date pretending that my lunch date didn't jizz in my hair.
My new hangover cure is going for a haircut, just so the stylists give me a scalp massage during the shampoo.
That certainly explains the nine times your hair has looked different just this last month alone.
The fact that it neither of us came up with the reason of "it's morally and ethically wrong" speaks volumes about this relationship
this place is dumb. no one understands my Sunday morning alcoholism here.
I woke up covered in thousand island dressing. I need answers.
excused from jury duty. THAT hungover...
Randomize
