If it were my dying wish, would you come over 2nite 2 save me?:):):) wana come anyways?
dude chill. it wont be anything like your seventh grade birthday party.
names aren't important. just tell him all you want is a lil make out sesh and keep it moving.
She recited Pi throughout ever orgasm she had....she said it was a game she likes to play...how far she gets is how she judges her lovers...I am oddly turned on by this...
if I open my eyes, my head will explode. that hungover.
I just had a fifteen minute conversation with a Raccoon by the garbage bin. I was feeding it chex mix.
just had to get on my knees to snort an addy off the little sink at the daycare. teacher of the year!
He told me he loved me and then peed his own bed. So at least it was a memorable one night stand.
I am a delicate flower. A fucked up, drunk, horny, pants pissing, delicate little flower.
Based on his face I'm positive he has a beautiful penis.
He just jumped up off the couch, screamed "ITS OVER NINE THOUSAND!" And then attempted to fly out the window like a bird. I don't know nor do I care to know what just happened
I just put poptarts in the toaster with the wrapper on, that's how hungover I am.
he sent a dick pic to my best friends phone for me cause mine died lol pretty sure he was regretting that night outta town.
I taught three men with PhDs how to make a gravity bong last night. I love academia.
I got a 93 percent on my last mid term and I was drunk. Think of the possibilities if i were sober for the one thats tommorrow.
Randomize
