I guess what I'm trying to say is you've fucked more people than the economy.
so I guess it's not okay to mix vodka and ..everything and then proceed to offer a lap dance to ...everyone.
Now that the olympics are over we have no excuse for getting belligerently drunk for nationalism every night.
I have way too much money in my bra to be responsible.
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I'm at McDonalds and when I walked up to the register the guy said "I'm so sorry." Before I said a word. That's how bad my hangover is.
He wasn't eating out, he was performing a hysterectomy without a license....should I be worried about my future family?
Lots of alcohol last night skiing this morning = me throwing up off chairlift
Not going to lie- I'm a little freaked out camping right now. This is one of those high activities you don't do by yourselves...or close to bears
I ran into my parents house and stole a bottle of vodka last night...Apparently left them a note that read "DRUNK. TOOK VODKA. BRING MORE."
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There is a BIG difference between doing coke and getting peed on and getting peed on FOR coke
I just ordered 30 klonopins from India that could probably be anything from Viagra to Midol. You need to find another friend to get advice from right now
Yes. That was the exact moment of my conscience clicking into instant high alert.
All I've done for this 11 hour car ride is kegel and listen to our sex playlist so your dick better be good and ready
In case you were wondering how drunk I was last night, there was an unopened slim Jim in front of my door and I ate it.
1. so the new neighbor u called dibs on.. I'm sorry..but not really. 2. She lactates, I guess that happens when you have a kid less then 5 months ago.... WTF!! 3. Is it fucked up I'm craving Ceral & Milk now?