Sorry, I don't speak sober.
I will return your cat, I saw a mouse in my apt last night and your door was unlocked, it seemed really practical
new rule: i'm not touching his penis until he takes me out to dinner.
you know, if you actually abided by that rule there would be many more successful restauranteurs in ohio.
Will you be topless? That will affect my answer.
These 21 People Are Related To Famous Celebrities
its a nice change of pace not blacking out and actually remembering getting laid
So many people have lost their virginity on my futon... I think it is only the right thing to bronze it and put it on display
maybe next time you'll take an ex boyfriend warning you that she's batshit crazy as a warning instead of a challenge
The best part about passing out on the floor was the fact that when I pissed myself, I didn't piss the bed again.
Matt says that there are strip club auditions in our living room and he'd like you to audition.
21 Of The Most Impressive Things Ever Seen In Porn
I found my hair extensions. They were in my hamper.
The golf course isn't that incognito for sex.
after attempting to eat a candy cane bigger than my hand i have determined there's no way to eat this that doesn't seem erotic
When did i become the Rickety Cricket of my own life?
you need a warning label. Just announcing that you are Scottish is seen more as a challenge. Those guys have no idea what they are getting into.
Don't be hating on my everclear. Never taken a smoother journey into intoxication.