College reaches a new low. We just carved a shot glass out of a potatoe.
There's too many weed/neon/felt Sublime posters in this room and someone just put on a Hunter S. Thompson movie. Save me, now.
Well we can cross off dogs, dating sites, and real life as ways to help you meet a chick.
we couldnt tell if he was gay so we started working glee quotes into the conversation to see if he noticed.
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tell me why there is a bowl of oatmeal from starbucks in my purse
she keeps giving me cups of everbeer.. its everclear and beer mixed. i guess its blackout or backout time
Spent 200 bucks on a stripper for a good night hug. I give up.
dude wearing that thong all day was not worth the 7 bucks
I believe its time to stop celebrating Thanksgiving. I've been drunk for over a week. If my liver doesn't give out, and I'm not pregnant I will truly have something to be thankful for.
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I would have gladly let him decapitate me with the way he was biting on my neck.
She sucked my dick and I swear I almost had to send a search party into her mouth to find it. IT WAS THAT AMAZING.
WHAT GOOD IS APPRECIATING IF NOBODY'S NAKED
why did you put a dildo on the ceiling fan
the dildo had a suction cup and we had a ceiling fan what did you expect?
A bitchslap is in order.
Woke up with a grilled cheese in my hand, it was like god giving me a high five for the night before