Most awkward thing ever just happened. I was reaching in my purse to get something and a condom fell out into the woman's lap next to me. At least she knows I'm safe.
you don't remember? you called me at 330 crying because you were in the middle of having sex with corey and forgot his name. all you kept saying was i'm a drunk bitch.
Well, I guess this was as good a night as any to find out I don't know how to use my fire extinguisher.
i'm as serious about my hair as jesse from full house.
that is uncle jesse to you, show some respect.
People Are Arguing Over This Guy’s Petty Reaction To Splitting Lunch With His Co-Worker
You brought back some girl with you at 3am and introduced her to everyone as "hot pocket"
He left his umbrella behind in my bed to 'keep me company', then stole my front door key before he went to work
She tried catching cigarette ashes on her tongue like snowflakes.
So here i am dipping ice cream in my vodka and watching the bad girls club on demand. This is not ok
The only explanation I can think of is that he still likes me. Which gives me an enormous amount of power over him and makes me laugh with malicious intent.
Girl Logs Into Twitter Only To Find Out Her Dad Is Trending For The Most Outrageous Reason
All I remember is sitting on your kitchen floor and playing with a banana like it was a viking ship.
she had a dildo shaped like a dolphin. she will forever be known as Flipper
I am in an eBay bidding war over a build a bear one direction tshirt, this is who you choose to bone
He held my hand in public and I nearly came. Like he needs to be inside of me yesterday.
So I considered mediating this morning and instead I master-bated...same thing right?
It was a bad idea to take ecstasy with cats in the house. No animal likes being touched that much. Let me know how your eye feels tomorrow