Texts From Last Night

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  (248): View more from Michigan

  I'm not unpopping my collar. This shirt is too expensive to crease.

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  (248): I'm not unpopping my collar. This shirt is too expensive to crease. http://tfl.nu/084h
  Replies (9) Good night (1696) Bad night (2411) Order T-Shirt
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  (804): View more from Virginia

  I'm outside your house...sorry I feel like I don't need formal invites anymore.

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  (804): I'm outside your house...sorry I feel like I don't need formal invites anymore. http://tfl.nu/hody
  Replies (16) Good night (3858) Bad night (546) Order T-Shirt
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  (910): View more from North Carolina

  my underwear are soaked with white zifandel yet i have continued to wear them despite the fact im at home

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  (910): my underwear are soaked with white zifandel yet i have continued to wear them despite the fact im at home http://tfl.nu/9si8
  Replies (17) Good night (838) Bad night (3696) Order T-Shirt
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  (850): View more from Florida

  You may see me on espn tomorrow drunk, half naked, and selling articles of clothing to rich cougars like i did last year, but i will NOT be drinking shitty beer

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  (850): You may see me on espn tomorrow drunk, half naked, and selling articles of clothing to rich cougars like i did last year, but i will NOT be drinking shitty beer http://tfl.nu/uk5v
  Replies (2) Good night (2955) Bad night (597)
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  (973): View more from New Jersey

  Do you remember anything yesterday that led to needing a cup of couscous in my closet?

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  (973): Do you remember anything yesterday that led to needing a cup of couscous in my closet? http://tfl.nu/ol6s
  Replies (6) Good night (1778) Bad night (1067) Order T-Shirt
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  (714): View more from California

  there is a strobe light in my taxi. in what way is this safe.

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  (714): there is a strobe light in my taxi. in what way is this safe. http://tfl.nu/faaw
  Replies (10) Good night (2370) Bad night (903) Order T-Shirt
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  (213): View more from California

  The lifeguard told us we had to move Mike before the tide came in when he passed out.

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  (213): The lifeguard told us we had to move Mike before the tide came in when he passed out. http://tfl.nu/jmae
  Replies (4) Good night (2053) Bad night (593) Order T-Shirt
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  (520): View more from Arizona

  Definitely just put my car on cruise control so I could stick my head out of the sunroof while driving to taco bell.

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  (520): Definitely just put my car on cruise control so I could stick my head out of the sunroof while driving to taco bell. http://tfl.nu/mi1d
  Replies (11) Good night (1825) Bad night (703) Order T-Shirt
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  (540): View more from Virginia

  Oh nbd. She just had sex with a divorcee. On a charter bus. At 10 a.m. On a Thursday.

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  (540): Oh nbd. She just had sex with a divorcee. On a charter bus. At 10 a.m. On a Thursday. http://tfl.nu/c8hf
  Replies (7) Good night (1484) Bad night (509) Order T-Shirt
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  (707): View more from California

  He SHOWED UP to the party wearing one shoe and a dinosaur hat. He kept lifting up his shirt and asking people to bite his nipple.

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  (707): He SHOWED UP to the party wearing one shoe and a dinosaur hat. He kept lifting up his shirt and asking people to bite his nipple. http://tfl.nu/9nil
  Replies (5) Good night (670) Bad night (837) Order T-Shirt
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  (707): View more from California

  After it was shut down sean literally made out with four separate girls between the 100 feet to our house. It was a rampage.

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  (707): After it was shut down sean literally made out with four separate girls between the 100 feet to our house. It was a rampage. http://tfl.nu/9jeb
  Replies (3) Good night (1371) Bad night (363) Order T-Shirt
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  (845): View more from New York

  There's nothing worse than carrying your fairy crown and wings home wearing fishnets

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  (845): There's nothing worse than carrying your fairy crown and wings home wearing fishnets http://tfl.nu/ibjg
  Replies (6) Good night (545) Bad night (252) Order T-Shirt
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  (253): View more from Washington

  it's taken me 3 hours to eat this pudding cup. I think I am melting.

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  (253): it's taken me 3 hours to eat this pudding cup. I think I am melting. http://tfl.nu/k4ds
  Replies (2) Good night (457) Bad night (223) Order T-Shirt
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  (312): View more from Illinois

  I honestly think she should have her own reality show called "Lowering the Bar" and it consists of a camera crew following her from Bar to bar hooking up with unsuspecting drunk attractive men.

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  (312): I honestly think she should have her own reality show called "Lowering the Bar" and it consists of a camera crew following her from Bar to bar hooking up with unsuspecting drunk attractive men. http://tfl.nu/h4bo
  Replies (7) Good night (517) Bad night (160)
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  (716): View more from New York

  YOU ARE THE WORST TRAVEL AGENT! THIS IS A SINGLES CRUSE FOR SENIORS. THEY ALL THINK IM THE FUCKING WAITRESS JUST CAUSE IM BLACK!!!

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  (716): YOU ARE THE WORST TRAVEL AGENT! THIS IS A SINGLES CRUSE FOR SENIORS. THEY ALL THINK IM THE FUCKING WAITRESS JUST CAUSE IM BLACK!!! http://tfl.nu/4ih5
  Replies (8) Good night (357) Bad night (1268) Order T-Shirt

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