you kept telling everyone that you were the mayor of silverware town
I hate to tell you this, but your sister reeks of whore.
As gay men are we obligated to learn the Single Ladies dance.
She was narrarating everything she did.. like while making toast.
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you told me your penis was albino and it couldnt be exposed to light so you needed to keep it in me
Got a stripper to howl at my wolf shirt.
dude, apparently i tried to force feed my grandma bananas last night.
I mean looking back on it, it's unlucky but at least now we can say we were in jail from 2011 to 2012
That's thinking positively..
I just looked at a girl and was like what disease does she have? And then my mind caught up ohhh shes pregnant.
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I swear god is testing me by giving me awesome guys with tiny penises
Just fat and dog and sweat all over the bed. All night long.
just in the smoking shack with my sister cheering on a caterpillar make its cocoon
You must take up my position now. You must pass out in awkward places as I taught you... Sears a hotel elevator and Burger King bathroom. You potential for greater young grasshopper.
He told me that when he bends me over that chair I remind him of a bull rider. So thanks for being the ex that helps my present sex life
He literally poured blue Gatorade on me after we had sex and said "good game" all over my white sheets