One girl and one boy is just not enough.
I wish i knew how bad drinking and hieghts were before i got up here
You told him how lucky he was to be an elephant and kept trying to grab his "trunk"
those 9 inches of man changed my life forever.
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I'm partying with my neighbors right now, and by "with my neighbors" I mean they are partying in their backyard and I'm partying in mine, and by "partying" I mean I'm sitting here alone drinking tequila.
There are only families here. I'm at the bar alone double fisting drinks. You cannot get any more approachable than I am now.
last night he took my thong off with his teeth... god bless champagne
you left saying you wanted to "go piss on that girl's doorstep" and we didn't see you the rest of the night
that actually explains a lot
The sad thing was my husband told her its ok to make out with me. Bar Tuesdays will live on regardless.
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I'm so hungover. I just keep eating the otter pops I'm trying to use to get rid of my hickies.
Besides the kids on acid... I was the highest kid there
I tried to celebrate Halloween, Thanksgiving, Hannukah, and New Years all in one night.
She unfriended me on Facebook after I responded to her long love note with #demtittesdoe. Jager is the goddamned devil.
A boy in some branch of the military kissed me I think I'm going through an American sniper phase
he just sent me a dick pic, it highly resembled a cheese stick
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