OMG Im so trashed fishy! im sitting hereon my bed wif mcdonalds n i look like david hasselhoff!!!!!! kill me now
She was so drunk that I kept trying to switch out her wine for water. Sort of like Jesus, but in reverse.
Did I get blown in the bathroom? Yes. Did she throw up cranberry juice on my shorts? Yes. Did she finish the job? Yes.
i was out of cigarettes so i took the butts out of the ashtray, emptied them out, and proceeded to roll one big Frankenstein cigarette.
I had to write an apology letter to security guards in the hotel so I didnt get kicked out
the easter KEGG...out of a drunken typo there arose a new and spectacular holiday tradition
She sucked my dick while i watched james bond. And they say marriage sucks
I have officially had sex in every room on my floor. Don't say I'm not an amazing RA.
All I remember is this kid kept saying that he has a dream that white kids and black kids can take shots together as one, and just we'd keep drinking to that.
Fried chicken is a must. Do strippers eat fried chicken or should I plan on something else?
Her son walked into the middle of the living room, took off his diaper, shit on the floor, smiled at me, and walked out, as if nothing happened.
So date night went well?
My condom drawer is now filled with W-2s and tax return documents. Is this adulting?
i just ran butt naked down the hall and someone highfived me. i love college.
Just because your drunk doesn't mean you can stick your dick in the snow. Just a FYI
What?? I could've slept with an ordained minister!
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