I just told my doc I would like to talk about my drinking problem, but that it would probably get in the way of my weekend plans.
there's nothing like watching the sun rise at the library alone on a friday morning to make you want to kill yourself.
She was wearing a "Got Beer" hat and your bed had necco wafers all over it the next morning. Another story for the grandkids.
I got kicked out of a mexican restaurant last night for being too drunk. This is getting dangerously close to rock bottom
Good thing it was his birthday because I accidentally grabbed his dick at the bar. A lot.
she's sitting in the bathroom of SA telling people to come in for a toilet ride
Well at least it wasn't the first time I threw up out of a second story window
Sorry there's no emoticon for I got my period all over a guy's bed so I had to improvise. There isn't even a bed one
She sent pictures and the names of her 2 cats and her dog and told me that I should be happy to have met the whole family.
You must be good in bed dude
Are you feeling okay?
Right now, not a single thing feels even slightly okay. That hungover.
I just took the soggiest of beer shits and all i have to eat is shredded cheese and more beer. I need an adult.
Hook ups at LEGOLAND don't count right?
Are we playing inappropriate sexual encounters bingo?
My aunt asked how many piercings I had and my mom said seven and I said nine and that's how my family found out I had my nipples pierced.
Had to claim I'd "gone lesbian" to get my cat back. Thank God I got away from that one.
Why yes, I DID want cramps for Christmas, how did you know God?
Randomize
