She wanted to fuck you. You threw up on her. Congrats.
sorry probably not gonna make it :( kinda tied up right now
sad face, r u gay?... wait like really tied up?
:)
I am SOOO high
tell me about your high
HUGE THUMBTACKS
i opened her purse and found 4 bottles of vodka tampons and an unopened box of birth control...
do herpes really smell.
dont try to nair your balls. i speak from experience
i don't remember but I assumed it was bad when I woke up with directions from his house to mine already pulled up on my phone
I saw Winona at my church today. She has boobs, now.
Miracles do happen.
So on how many levels of wrong is it that I'm reconsidering my divorce simply because I don't want to go through getting used to shitting around someone again.
We are having a competition to see who can masterbate in the wierdest place, right now hes winning since he masterbated on his Jr. High school bus.
No really tho I'm wearing a chucky cheese shirt and yoga pants. If that doesn't scream no sex idk what does
So doing the math I dated almost 2 of me in penises. Like, if I you layed them out lengthwise it would be 2 times my height.
One day he'll find out I do drugs and stop talking to me.
What will you do then?
Drugs, probably.
how did i manage to wake up with my bra on backwards?
So then I got so stoned I sat and took my pulse for 10 minutes.
Randomize
