dude i woke up to 20 missed calls from you, 3 from a blocked number and had 13 voicemails that all said "send me a picture of your tits."
so im guessing thats a no.....
Update, blind date is cute and fun.
Scratch that, blind date just threw up.
My mind says no, but my body says yes.
What does your body say about chlamydia?
bikini waxes are so much more painful when you know you're not getting laid
At one point in time, he cried and said I didn't appreciate him.
just had to sit in the middle of an aisle in stop and shop because we're too hungover and needed to take a break.
It's 2:30 on a Friday afternoon. It's snowing and must be about 20 degrees outside. I'm sitting in this class with 300 people using up every ounce of energy and willpower not to puke all over the girl in front of me. This has got to stop.
He doesn't care. He wouldn't care if my vag grew arms and smacked him in the face.
I can never go back to Jacksonville. We think I may have punched a child in the face while on acid...
Just got 20% off at the liquor store. How you ask? I asked if there was an "I got divorced today" discount.
Why didn't you tell me I was calling her by her sisters name all night?
I got back from work this morning after working the night shift to find an NFL player scaling the side of our apartment...from your window. He just took sneaking out to all new level. Care to explain?
I think that about sums it up, actually.
Haha, how do I word that nicely? "You got me to the edge of no return twice and failed to let me orgasm, therefore you owe me chicken nuggets or hot wings. Your decision"
Sex was great. Left his house while he was asleep but on the plus side I was able to get gas station food.
Here's the thing. Kinda drunk. Eating leftover soup. In bed. Watching Disney channel.
Randomize
