I just remembered I gave a homeless man a ride to his bridge last night.
Just saw a white stretch Hummer limo outside of CiCi's pizza. Way to live up to the stereotypes, Alabama.
He DELETED brick breaker off his blackberry why even bother trying to find something in common?
i ditched last period to have sex with him. i had to change into my skank clothes in the church parking lot. little kids were on the swings.
nothing about this is right.
Okay, good. And if you have one of those portable strip poles that would be nice too.
good it was pretty cute, also what would bong water do to a puppy?
We're gonna go drive around campus and throw water balloons at all the drunk bitches wobbling around, wanna come?
Either way, we will celebrate half Christmas the only way we can. Completely and irresponsibly wasted.
I'm totally wasted about to ride water slides. That's goddamn 'Merican. That and Clint Eastwood.
I swear to god, if you fuck the hot one you're paying me back for the shot I just bought her
She said she forgot something.. and when she came out she was carrying a garden gnome, and a bottle of vodka. she was too hot to question it.
So my class is approximately two vomits from the bus stop. Happy first day of class
Probably shouldn't be looking at memes at my grandmother's funeral
I wasn't that gone.
Dude, you cried and said how sorry you were when we asked why you had the dip.
The weirdest part of it all was wondering if I was going to take off his fanny pack or he was before we fucked
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