I figured he was gay when I walked in on him working out to Flirty Girl Fitness.
so im decorating easter eggs with my family and my mom is writing "Jesus is risen" and "God loves you!" on the eggs. i wrote things like "I'm naked!" and "there are drugs in these eggs!" on mine.
The stripper told me she had been working there for eight years, then got mad when I asked if she was trying to make it into mangment. Awkwardest lap dance
Omg calling you in 10 to update you on who I peed on last night
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just ordered an appetizer sampler to distract the fat chicks so we can escape
Someone spilled vodka all over the elevator floor. Bring straws.
Me ending up in the fetal position in my shower is becoming far too commonplace. It's like a weekly therapy session
please tell me you're in jail and for some reason they have wifi
when I came to get Jamie there was a cop standing outside with her, made me roll down my window to tell me "she's got to go cause she won't keep her shirt buttoned"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Puking in the Ritz Carlton bathroom was actually kind of a nice experience
Can I just go naked and covered in glitter?
It is NEVER not funny to me when I am sitting at a table and I've touched the dicks of every single person I'm sitting with.
MANIFESTATION IS REAL AND IM GETTING LAID TONIGHT
Want to help me interview candidates to replace my Cub/Boy Toy when he leaves for grad school next month?
The pandemic has not made Uber drivers any less chatty.
Randomize