He made me pinky-promise that he gave me an orgasm.
There's a girl in my class named "La-a" pronouced "Luh Dash uh" I hate everyone
Now for something completely different: ive figured out how to eat a banana without insinuating something completely naughty
Im drunk with people I love less than you. fix it.
My vag has a bald spot. That is so middle aged. Is this my midlife crisis?
I have the slightest memory of swinging a bag full of condoms over my head...
Did i tell you my idea for my life plan? Not the one that involves stripping.
You need to come back and help me drink our beer so the fridge has room for the other beers
The last thing I remember was naked hot tub and taking a shot and using the hot tub water as a chaser. Not acceptable.
Fuckin wine wasted last night. Found my pants in the toilet this morning.
All I know is I woke up with his business card in my bra and in my handwriting on the back it says 8 inch.
She actually purred while I was balls deep in her! I have never been so proud to buy plan b at 6:30 in the morning.
Pretty sure I love my nipple piercing more than I'll love my children someday
Idk how much of a virgin he is but I'm tryna find out.
I begin to question your sobriety when you both left here shirtless, with beers in one hand and shotguns in the other
Randomize
