Just checked, might have creepy crawlies. What does chlamydia feel like? Not near wireless to consult webMD.
Can you send me a pic of you vag, I'm sexting the guy and he wants a pic but I didnt shave
dude are you serious?
I know you already have a pic on your phone
If you don't answer the phone then I will be forced to leave you a wonderful voicemail of me throwing up
Is a box of franzia too insincere of a gift for "i'm sorry I backed into your toddler with my car"?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
nah we got kicked outta the bar after the bouncer saw us putting straws up Chelsea's nose to make her look like a walrus after she fell asleep at the table
We didn't have sex but he is somehow naked and laying on top of me. his dick is touching my leg and freaking me the fuck out.
Ps there is nothing more humbling in the world than havin to watch cheaper by the dozen on the waiting room tv while getting the morning after pill at the drs. Nothing
pretty sure I just got a "sorry I have a new boyfriend" blow job. Confused, but totally ok with it.
Talk about an dramatic entrance, girl rolled up on a stolen bike and was wearing heels and a dress, through it on the ground and said "you guys want a bike?" Of course i jumped on that shit, any sane person would!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
A gay guy went down on me in the club bathroom and then fixed my makeup for me
its gonna be a great night
Dave is getting a lap dance to the venga boys
this is not a drill
The moral of the story is this:the last shot of the night is always a mistake
If he wants a future he'd best figure out the calendar function on his phone. If he can invite you to his penis he can invite you to his google cal.
It is NEVER not funny to me when I am sitting at a table and I've touched the dicks of every single person I'm sitting with.
Hangover and judgement, the breakfast of champions.
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