have you seen my purse? i cant find it and my ipod is in there and that shit totally cost more than my abortion.
Exactly how many bongs can i have before my parents figure out they really aren't vases
rather than putting your name in guys phones, you just texted 90999 to donate $10 to Haiti and then gave it back to them
Arguably, the best part was cockblocking those squirrels.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's like, I'm the official vagina for that DJ group
He had bigger boobs than me last night and we both weren't wearing a bra so it was a fair judgement
Everyone was passed out so I turned off the lights and locked all the doors. I also took the chicken sandwich in the microwave as payment.
Currently siting in the living room naked, staring at one of the girls across the street in her living room naked. This is like the most intense starting contest of all time.
Hey its me your friend who impressed the pharmacist by already knowing the generic version of plan b by name
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When do you want to get tanked and forget our entire college education?
I guess that means I was blowing a nerd last week.
And loving it.
They live across the street from a school baseball field so they have porter potties across the street and let's just say that I'm grateful they exist
I LACK THE NECESSARY BRAIN FUNCTIONS TO BE ABLE TO PROPERLY RESPOND TO THAT
Make a note to pack something that won't catch shell casings in your cleavage
dude the dog literally grabbed the condom out of the trash can and threw it in the air i'm screaming
Randomize