Homeslice needs to figure out he's so 2006
Riding a fattie is like riding a scooter, its ok just not in public.
i think ur clone was at the club last week. she slapped some tall girl in the face who tried to steal her spot on the podium. i dont know if ur like her, but she seemd like a ninja badass with superpowers
areolas are like halos for boobs.
I only have two new blunt burns this year as opposed to freshman year's 6. This is growing up.
At least you weren't that one girl in the bar that was letting everyone draw on her in sharpie. Worst decision I've ever witnessed.
You are so lucky that drugs are going to kill you before I do.
This body was not built to go to the gym. It was built to chain smoke cigarettes and shoot whiskey
Why is there a water bottle full of red wine on my desk this morning?
See you tonight.
My mom opened up my bank statement today....my first alcohol intervention class is at 7:30am tomorrow.
I'll have party bus drop you off in the morning.
When we were finished I asked him how long it had been since he'd cum that hard. He thought really hard for a while before telling me his brain forgot how years worked.
I just had a horrible epiphany. I have fucked girls younger than Star Tours
This text was so worth waking up to
You're wearing a hospital gown and pearls. Let's reevaluate your life.
I had one beer! ONE BEER! They took shots in mourning of my tolerance last night. My ability to drink is a joke.
You date? I thought you just hooked up with your TAs
Randomize
