i threw up in his kitchen sink and then used a measuring cup to drink water because i couldn't find a clean glass. i just threw up down the stairs. it's gonna be a long walk home.
i hate that site..its like every vagina you dont wanna see
One night stand!! Now I'm pissing excellence
That burning is chlamydia
I just did the classiest thing ever.
last time you said that you got chlamydia.
weed salsa. i deserve a nobel prize
deryk tried to steal your screen door and i think sam and brent are duct taping lauren to the diving board.
Im on the side of I-10 covered in sweat, cookie dough, hollandaise sauce, onion gravy, and ground beef wondering how my life I ended up here
I tried to stop that, but then I pulled the leaves out of my panties and went to sleep.
Well she got high, deleted the essay she was working on, and then ordered dominos. We all manage stress in different ways.
No I did a yoga dvd and hit my ex up via email for some pot in exchange for his mail.
I just had all of the sex. All of it.
really who shits their pants then locks themselves out of their apartment? ... I threw my underwear out in a random bathroom
Either it didn’t do much damage or I’ve lost all feeling in my asshole
Best and worst whiskey dick ever. I am hungover and can't move from the hours of sex, he on the other hand has a raw bruised dick. I win.
Sorry I steam cleaned at 1:30 in the morning and that i'm such a drunk dumb child. On the bright side, my carpet has ever looked better.
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