So I went on a date with this girl...and whos our waitress? My girlfriend got a second job she didn't tell me about to afford my bday present.
i now know how you feel when you have to walk me home. she ran into a streetlight and into garbage.
he only lasted 2 minutes. he said it was because i was so pretty. i'm not sure what to feel right now.
Studying for the exam.. Identifying the portraits using phrases like "large penis"
my dealer just handed me my weed in a pink easter egg
normally i wouldnt have blown him but he was on dawsons creek.. i love dawsons creek.
Need your help. He's locked himself in the bathroom with his bong and his childhood collection of Goosebumps books.
We are hot boxing the gondola
I hate everything.
I just won a riveting game of "who can drink the most vodka out of a hollowed out watermelon". Fucking New Yorkers.
Whoever roofied me last night owes me a new pair of white jeans
And the prospective student I was showing around had to take care of me.
I woke up the whole house screaming I need my shorts they found me in the kitchen with a bag of strawberries naked
I love you. Go after that dick
I am at the car wash dressed as a turn of the century librarian
what color bed sheets say meditative warrior but also welcome to my sex dungeon...
navy blue
The fact that you have an answer to that is why we are friends...
Randomize
