honestly, who buys weed with an unemployment check?
you.
oh yeah. preciate
I don't even know how sober sex starts anymore
i just uploaded pictures of my nephew, and you & d puking in the same toilet. i think i should keep them in the same album. show my nephew what he has to look forward to.
i feel like verizon should give a sexter of the month award
He snuck into my grandmothers house, broke her lamp, fucked me, then had breakfast with us the next morning. I am an awful granddaughter.
i gave her a can of corn and told her the cabs are accepting non perishable food items over the holidays. blatant lie and she lives like $40 away
I can feel the alcohol in my calves
Ok wear gym clothes just in case we feel like going shitfaced to the gym
No worries. On my way home to get ski poles and wipe the sick off my face. Then it's time to get drunk in the park
I really wanna just be like, can you just eat me out and stop whining
I think that would solve a million problems
I woke up in a stranger's bed wearing nothing but santa socks.
WE'RE MOVING TO IRELAND!!!! DON'T ASK QUESTIONS JUST BOOK THE DAMN FLIGHT!!!!
Our first time hooking up was on New Years and we've managed to hook up every holiday since, I'm hoping this lasts until 2016 just to fulfill my American Holiday sex fantasy I never knew I had
I had sex while watching Lord of the Rings last night. I think I just reached a new level of nerd.
I just thought I should tell you that I always know what you are doing. Everywhere. Every time. -Your loving Mother
Randomize
