S and I had anal without a condom because I'm on my rag but he didn't finish. Should I still take Plan B?
after he passed out we removed everything electronic from his room, stuck in some old books and an ancient typewriter from goodwill. for 20 min. we had him convinced he'd drunk himself backward in time.
im at that stage where all she has to do is cough or something and it pisses me off
I'm not being over dramatic, but I think my heart is going to stop beating.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You passed out in my bathroom last night. I put a towel over your face so I could shit without it being gay
I feel like I need to get a restraining order against him but I'd probably be the one to break it.
There was a cop outside the house so we just put the alcohol in this watermelon
He actually offered up a silent prayer thanking God for my "tremendous ass." You tell me how my night is going.
you went to ralph's and bought all of their pears and left them outside my house
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The last two times I had sex with him I forgot who it was half way through
When he breaks your heart after he reveals he's gay, I'll be there for you. -Love, Dad
The Dick I got last night was so phenomenal that I had to take a fucking personal day today.
we didn't even throw knives this time! it was just the carrot peeler
Lest it die in the depths of eternal drunken recall denial...we peed in the street. Middle of the street. Simultaneously. Peed. Street. Middle of street.
Apparently his ex was into edging and did it to him so much that it takes forever for him to cum
I hate you and your multiple orgasm sexcapades
Randomize